I have a poop problem. This may sound a bit vulgar – "low register," as an online slang dictionary termed it – but I bought a new car and birds are pooping all over it. Yes, I know, the word "poop" ...

Birds poop for very scientific, evolutionary reasons. That said, the beauty of science is difficult to appreciate when it materializes as unwanted poop splotches on the hood of your car. But there may ...